1. I'm pretty sure that the automatic faucets and toilets in my life have wasted more of the water associated with my usage than I ever could have.
2. The sound of someone trying to eat an apple quietly is far more annoying than the sound of someone eating an apple normally.
3. I'm going to have to start defriending FB friends who (a) aren't actually my friends and (b) shit all over my status updates with their nonsense.
4. That's not my sandwich.
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